One should, in my opinion, never under estimate the power of blah blah blahs... They may seem little and insignificant, but they are the moments that make up the details of our lives. Like grains of sand contributing to the beach. Drops of salt water contributing to the ocean. Like breaths of air that give us life.
So easily forgotten, but so much a part of the whole.
I want to remember the little things as much as the big things. I want to find the same pleasure in the quiet easily missed moments as I do in the loud "I'll never ever forget this" moments.
But I've been tired and unmotivated and my blog is being neglected. I'm losing inspiration and feeling mundane.
Last night I had to write a piece themed "in search of..." I was disappointed as it didn't come out very well. I sent it in anyway, but cringed hitting the button. It was a shame. My whole life seems to be one big in search of game. I thought the piece would come easily to me.
The thing is, I don't quite know how to find whatever it is I'm searching for even when it's a search to find what I'm in search of.
Huh?
I know.
Sometimes I lose myself too.
Today's woe- writing.
Yes, this is another blog about poor non-writing me. How many of these have I written so far?
The answer: too many.
If you don't like your current situation then change it.
Okay, but how?
One of my favorite writers, Jenn Hee, wrote this piece on her blog: http://www.chooseourownadventure.com/?p=473. I loved it. Loved losing and finding myself in it.
Like her, I miss writing the way I used to and I understand her sentiments about her blog. About how some things, as great as they were, just don't last forever, but still, you want to keep it going, and you try, but when a thing has run it's course, it's run it's course. Although, maybe Jenn wasn't really saying that, and it's just me sticking my stuff into someone else's words. Using her as an ally so that I don't sound so alone in my silliness.
Silly:
- cockamamie: ludicrous, foolish; "gave me a cockamamie reason for not going"; "wore a goofy hat"; "a silly idea"; "some wacky plan for selling more ...
- pathetic: inspiring scornful pity; "how silly an ardent and unsuccessful wooer can be especially if he is getting on in years"- Dashiell Hammett
- a word used for misbehaving children; "don't be a silly"
Wait. Don't answer that. I don't really want to know.
The misbehaving child in me, has to whine about it. I miss that old blog. My place for everything. My blah blah blahs, back when they weren't so focused in on actual blah blah blahs.
But really, more than that, I miss who I was when I had that blog and contributed to it on irregular whims. I miss waking up in the middle of the night with a sort of frenzy in my fingers needing to type out the things in my head. It didn't matter if what I wrote was good nor not, it just felt good to write.
My daily blah blah blahs, despite my beach and ocean analogy, are beginning to feel like exactly what they are. Blah blah blah.
We'll see though. I am moody, wishy washy and apt to change my mind a hundred times. I'm the girl who tries on 6 different outfits only to go back to the very first one.
Maybe I'll change this blog once again. Maybe it will be the Daily Blah blah blahs "and More." The "and more" could hold an infinite number of undefined possiblities.
Isn't it funny how two little words can make such a difference?
"I" is just me, but you follow it with two words and suddenly everything changes. It becomes a statement of one's being (I am tired). A promise of unconditional feeling (I love you). A knife with which to cut some one down with (I hate you). An ending (I am done.)
With two words we can change the world.
With 773 words we can create a longwinded complaining blog.
Ahhh words. Can you see why I love them so?
You must be so tired... i was exhausted by the time I was at "?".
ReplyDeleteYou know what I admire about tightrope walkers and hate about my dental bill?
Ridiculous balance.
I think maybe you could use a bit of it in our lives too.